Monkey Bars and Self-Sabotage!

Monkey Bars and Self-Sabotage!

Monkey barsWe’ve been trying like crazy to learn the monkey bars at my house. Or I should say, my 5 year old has. We even got up at dawn this morning to get to the park before the bars got too warm and made little hands slippery.

Right about now, you’re saying “so what….what does this have to do with me” Give me another minute and I’ll bet you see it has a lot to do with you and why you don’t have what you want in your life.

As I’ve tried to coach my daughter to success in her quest for the illusive last 3 monkey bars……I’ve watched both her attitude and her technique. She has so reminded me of you and all of the people I coach toward financial, physical, and emotional success.

So what’s she been doing that’s keeping her from the finish line…..and which of these things are you doing?

1. Unconscious reverse – when she grabs the next bar, she grabs with her fingers pointing backward….instead of forward in the direction she wants to go…..unconsciously holding herself back.
2. Lack of focus – instead of focusing on the next bar that is the goal, her eyes wander to me for validation or to something else that catches her eye.
3. Letting fear stop forward momentum – she’ll get to the 4th bar and suddenly think “I can’t” or “I’m afraid” and drop to the ground
4. Mentally taking too big a bite – while it’s great to keep your eye on the finish line, when you start by focusing on the 7th bar, rather than on the one that your hand is reaching for, the task can be overwhelming.

What are your personal monkey bars?

Maybe you say you want an extra $10,000 a month in income. That’s certainly doable. Why don’t you have it or more?

When you move toward your dreams, what are you doing that puts your progress in reverse? Now that you’ve taken on that exciting new goal, are you staying focused or do you let new projects, the TV, depression, or ice cream distract you? And as you’re moving forward, do you suddenly get scared and just drop to the ground? And, here’s a big one….who are you looking to for approval and validation?

Today at the crack of dawn we headed to the park. And yesterday’s coaching had remarkable results. She stayed focused on her next bite, she turned her body and fingers forward and stopped going in reverse, she ignored the fear and did it anyway, and instead of tackling the entire set of bars, she concentrated on just the next one that she had to grab!

Amazing success! Today we got to the 6th bar. The illusive 7th and final bar is in front of us tomorrow morning at dawn. But, we both know that a celebratory sushi dinner is in our very near future.

I’m so proud of my daughter’s incredible determination, her willingness to take loving suggestions and make corrections to keep moving toward her own personal success.

How about you? Are you ready? If you are, don’t try to do it alone. Find a coach; someone who’s been there, done that. There is not one thing that you cannot have if you really want it, but you might need someone to guide you (or gently nudge you) along the way.

Am I responsible for my daughter’s success? Certainly not….she is! But….without my loving suggestions, it never would have occurred to her to place her hands differently, maintain her focus, and care more about what she thought of herself and not about my approval. Sometimes a little extra knowledge and a different perspective is the difference between swirling in frustration and ultimate success.

But did you know that most of the truly successful people have had help along the way? Just one example, look at Oprah; one of the most successful women in the world. She’s had coaches, mentors, advisors. She hasn’t tried to do it alone. You don’t have to either.

Remember, when you invest in yourself and invest in your life, the investment grows exponentially. That expensive new car, or closet full of cloths or shoes, or whatever happens to be your distraction of choice… may make your life more pleasant in the moment, but 10 years from now, will you still be reaping the rewards???

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